Smythe's World

There will never be peace as long as Sharon and Arafat have any say. One is an habitual war criminal, who is now trying to cover up an investigation of his army's atrocities in Jenin, and the other is a career terrorist. The President has no idea what to do, and seems to believe that the entire battle is just an inconvenience, halting him from what he believes is more important, which is to come up with some pretext for picking a fight with Iraq.

So without further adieu, here's an idea that makes sense....

Its time to check the mailbag...

Concerning my post last week on a potential future coach of the Philadelphia Flyers, M.C. of West Hollywood writes:

-- Thomas Ian Griffith would be a fine choice if he can teach the Flyers to score. Unfortunately, I suspect the only "scoring" the gentleman has knowledge of would be "scoring" on men. --

When I posted my suggestion, I was focusing only on Mr. Griffith's memorable role in the movie classic, Karate Kid III, where I thought his knowledge of "sweeps", his strategy for dealing with toxic waste, and his ability to respond positively to having a can of paint drop on his head might help that struggling franchise turn things around. But one of the great things about Smythe's World is the community that the blog has created, a place where people of all races, creeds, sexes, occupations, and sexual orientations can gather and share their expertise. As always, thanks for your input.

"Susan" writes:

--So the guy that thought an interactive site to yours brainliness was dumb, was the same, lets say man, that was also the first to respond. Ever wonder who exactly views your web site smithe? it would be much better to view message responses first hand, i'm not sure if your translation is accurate. after all you were the one who was saying 'looser' prior to the laker sweep! clearly accuracy is not your forte.--

Were you drinking when you wrote this? Does your computer not have a spell check? When have I ever said that the Lakers were loose? Thank goodness you play no role whatsoever in the education of our children; what a waste of taxpayer money that would be. Having said that, you are 110% correct on your demand for a responsive website for Smythe's World to gather and comment on my posts. I can promise you that your dream will soon come true !!! And, as always, thanks for your commentary.

If you are like me, you've been trying to find a way to motivate yourself to go to Korea next month for the World Cup. After all, travel and lodging are expensive, this is the world's biggest and most important sporting event, and football fans can be, well, passionate in their adherence to their team.

Well, this story pretty much convinced me that I'm going, screw the cost.

One of the things I promised I would do when I started blogging was to write some content about the Home Run Pool at Joxer Dalys, the sports bar/Irish pub I frequent. The concept is simple: each player drafts, in a pre-set order, the players he thinks will hit the most home runs; the fact that Omar Vizquel was twice the player Dave Kingman was is irrelevant; if he's available, Kong gets picked.

And so finally, without further adieu, some news about the Home Run Pool. As always, Mr. Bolkcom is off to a torrid start, and yours truly is battling for second, but if history is any guide, the participant currently in fifth will take charge about June 1 and leave the rest of us in his dust.

As a follow up, Left Eye was an item with Andre "Bad Moon" Rison, whose house she admitted having torched back in 1994. Thanx for the tip, and remember the new e-mail address, esstheman2@netscape.net

The greatest thing about being a sole practitioner is that you can take off early on Friday. In my case, it has more to do with a paucity of clients, but the impact is the same: more hours to drink myself into a stupor. Anyways, I'm thinking about sponsoring a "book club" on this site, kind of like the one's sponsored by more popular blogs, distinguised only by the fact that I will not be performing fellatio on the author afterward. To get things started, please check the provocative reviews on Amazon by Henry Raddick (with appropriate acknowledgments to C.Parsons).

Wasn't Left Eye involved with some NFL player a few years back? Just curious....needless to say, until he has an air-tight alibi, I'm going to assume that Suge Knight was behind this.

Incidentally, I have no opinion about the websites listed in the "recommended" section. They came with the new graphics. If I were to recommend sites, I would go for something like the Onion or Media Whores, not something like Google, that everyone already has on their favorites.

Can it be that this man is the Flyers' coach? I report...you decide.

The Philadelphia Flyers look awesome right now. Its always a thing to behold when a great team has that post-season swagger going, a feeling that nothing will stop them....

Speaking of which, doesn't the Church's new edict have all the credibility of Sharon claiming that he will clamp down on refugee camp atrocities in the future, or an Arafat promise of zero tolerance on terrorism...

Now that Pope JP2 and the American Cardinals are taking a more skeptical look at the special relationship between priests and small boys, will we see a day when the only professions that embrace pedophiles are piano instructors and Little League coaches? When R.Kelly and Michael Jackson are all they have to look up to?

It appears I may have offended someone with my of my recent comments. Matt C. writes:

--For the record, sir...I am NOT follically impaired, I choose to look like a fool. The Flyers don't CHOOSE to be offensively impaired they just suck(and I do find their offense completely offensive). Petrellies has been around far longer than Houston's and don't ever let any of George Petrellies henchmen(Albert Vera, Jimmy The Toe etc.) hear you talk bad or Smythie may end up "sleeping with the calamarie (sic)." And as far as sticking your neck out about the Lakers just how are we to know where your neck is? It's awfully hard to tell where your skull starts and your shoulders end. I think Mr. Vinnie would concur. Good day sir.--

First of all, let me congratulate you for being the first person to use my new, interactive e-mail address, esstheman2@netscape.net.

As for your other comments, I will ignore your personal insults, which I have to say are to be expected from someone of your ideology. It does not surprise me that your companion, "Mr. Vinnie", concurs with your petty diatribe; however, I will continue to support both of you concerning your very courageous lifestyle decisions. I believe the Petrallies' speciality is spelled "calamari". I stand by my prediction concerning the Lakers.

Click here for a very interesting link to a pivotal legal case. Thanks again to Carolyn, that consumate Industry insider.

Finally, what all of you have been demanding...a special e-mail address to respond to this site. Any future comments you may have about the events of my life can be made to a special address, esstheman2@netscape.net. Any and all comments will be kept confidential, provided you pay me for my silence.

From the N.Y. Times obituary of Layne Staley...

--Mr. Staley was born in Kirkland, Wash., and started playing drums when he was 12 years old, inspired by a Black Sabbath album from his parents' record collection--

Why is it that I'm only three years younger than this guy, and my parents never possessed a Black Sabbath album in their collection?

A follicly-impaired Flyers fan, who for the purposes of this site shall remain anonymous, writes:

--I have no problem with Sharon Stone Peres, unfortunately the Lakers will win, Stuart Anderson's is great but I prefer George Petrellies, (D*****h) is out of her pretty little head, my personal favorite website is bangedup.com and "Don" is wrong, the Pope is actually Canadian. Don't get any on 'ya Smythie! Go Banana Slugs!--

I don't know enough to have an opinion about George Petrellies, which, for those of you who are not familiar with the Culver City area, is a steakhouse in the tradition of Houston's. And of course, I would rather not see personal attacks here, such as the one on my solipsistic friend, D*****h. However, I would like to clarify Don's remarks to me about the "Greek Pope", and is pending visit to L.A. Last night, Don informed me that the "Greek Pope", far from being an actual leader of a religion (ie. Greek Orthodox), is actually a prediction, based on his readings of the Bible and his interpretations of current events. He believes that "Pope Sextus" will rise to power soon (like, next week maybe) and that those who will take power with him are already plotting to control the Southern California region. As proof, he pointed out to me that the Mormons are building a secret temple out in Riverside made of solid gold, and that they aren't really Christians anyway. Next time, I will have to make inquiries as to how those two suppositions are connected; eg., is the Greek Pope really a Mormon?

Fortunately, I can laugh at such wild conspiratorial tales and theocratic nonsense, since I discovered the wisdom of Dianetics.

My friend Carolyn has a link to a site where you can sign a petition to demand the revocation of the 1994 Nobel Peace Prize to Yassir Arafat (although I'm not sure exactly what one of his co-recipients, Shimon Peres, has done for the cause of peace lately). I would be much more interested if we could create a similar site for revoking Mira Sorvino's Oscar.

Hopefully not all of you got that last post three times. Blame it on the server.

One of the really cool things about AOL is getting e-mail from people I've never met before, like SuziCheerldr18, Horni16xxx, or PussyCoEd, all of whom, like myself, have their own websites.

Already, I'm starting to get complaints about the lack of interactivity on my site. Apparently, I have become such a phenomenum that you are demanding more of an opportunity to respond and to contribute. My dyspeptic amiga, Deborah, has suggested that you, my loyal audience, establish a more or less permanent chatroom devoted to "Smythesworld", where you can discuss the daily events in my life, the people I meet, my opinions on the Usurper, the Middle East, etc. Anyways, I would like to get opinions on that...

I'm going to stick my neck out a little bit here, but I predict the Lakers are not going to win a third straight title this year.

Last night, I got to hang with "Don" at Joxers. "Don", for those of you unfamiliar with the lore of the pub formerly known as Stats, is a homeless guy in his mid to late 60's who usually carries luggage, containing what are presumably his worldly possessions, into the bar. Anyways, he complained most of the night that the bartendresses were stealing his change, and that if they didn't stop, he was going to have the place closed down. Apparently, he can do that, because according to him, the "Greek Pope" was going to visit L.A., and whenever the "Greek Pope" visits, all the bars are forced to shut down by his edict. The things you learn....

Sorry, the "server" was down yesterday. For those of you who need to know, I ended up taking the day off early, and going to a local pub to watch the Dodgers game and Masters tournament. Then, dinner, and nothing says fine dining better than Stuart Anderson's !! More later....

That's not to say I'm a big Sharon Stone fan. She is probably an idiot too.

That's not to say I'm a big Sharon Stone fan. She is probably an idiot too.

To address a number of your inquiries, the "Sharon" referenced below is the Israeli prime minister, not Sharon Stone. Sorry for the confusion.

Since the earlier post was little more than an introduction to the site, this is really the first ever statement I will make on my "weblog". I felt that this was a long-overdue step for me, since people have been telling me either that I should start my own vanity site, or that I should direct films. So let's start this free-wheeling on-line discussion going with some random topics: eg., is Sharon an idiot? what's with that windbreaker he's always wearing? if Jim Tracy was the leader of the P.L.O., and not Arafat, would there be peace in Israel?

Felicitations!! I hope to use this site to discuss college basketball, the Joxer Daly home run pool, politics, the English actress Phoebe Nicholls, and anything else I'm obsessed with at the moment.