Smythe's World

From the mailbag:

A long-winded Ohiander sends the following missive:

Smythe you are such a wimp! Are you rooting for the Lakers or not? I mean a true Lakers fan wouldn't sound the death knell so quickly would they? Or maybe you're impersonating Phil '"I have to actually coach in this series" Jackson and trying to play some psychological game to get the Lakers motivated. C'mon stop chasing after (name deleted) and come watch the game at Joxers. I swear you must be the only guy I know who is p****-whipped but hasn't had any p****!! Tell her to give it up or get out bed bud!

I hope you know I am just ranting and raving and giving you s*** just for the fun off it!

Seriously, tell (name omitted) I said hello. Hope to see you after the game at Joxers

GO KINGS!!!!!!!!!

S---m

Thank you, but I will be watching the game at Joxers tonight. I have indeed found out that the female individual above, who stars on a certain ABC spy show airing Sunday nights, is in fact married. We decided that it would be best if we simply let our feelings wither, no matter how painful it may feel.

And sure enough, in the opener, Senegal beats France, 1-0. Or to put it another way, Maryland loses to Hawaii.

Back when the World Cup was in the U.S., and was getting a lot more hype in the mainstream press, a sportswriter (I think it was Curry Kirkpatrick) tried to explain why the tournament not only had such international appeal but had developed such a cult-like following among a fringe minority of American sports fans, and came up with the clever idea of comparing it to the sporting event played on these shores that is closest to it in spirit, the NCAA basketball tournament. Although the analogy is imperfect, since the aspect that makes the NCAA’s so interesting is its single-elimination format, something that doesn’t arise in the World Cup until the second round, I happen to love both events, and both tournaments share a common thread. That is, since talent in both sports is so evenly distributed, it is almost certain that huge upsets will occur (at least until the semifinals start); Cameroon will beat Argentina as certainly as Weber State will beat North Carolina.

Anyway, since I happen to be watching the 1986 Cleveland St v. Navy battle on ESPN Classic, and feel insprired by the spirit of Mouse McFadden, I will now give you the college tournament breakdown of the World Cup:

France: Maryland (obviously, since they’re defending champs, and are favored to repeat)
Argentina: Arizona (perennial favorite; talented, but bland)
England: Kansas (oldest tradition in the sport, with a history of choking in big games)
Germany: North Carolina (technically adept, although going through a down period)
Spain: UCLA (no one gets less out of more talent, but at least they overshadow their neighbors)
Italy: Duke (always going to contend)
Portugal: USC (from out of nowhere; can either make a run at the title or get sent home early)
Nigeria: Gonzaga
Mexico: Tulsa
Cameroon: MAC champions
Saudi Arabia: Hampton
Croatia: Florida
U.S.A.: Big Sky champs
Sweden: California (good for a win, nothing else)
Brazil: Kentucky (great history, exciting style; can never be ignored)
Uruguay: Georgetown (were champs awhile back, but now dull)
Slovenia: Seton Hall
Costa Rica: Big West champs
Paraguay: Western Kentucky
Senegal: Hawaii
Russia: Syracuse
Poland: Mississippi State
Denmark: Mountain West champions
Ireland: Texas Tech
Japan: Pittsburgh (underrated team that gets to play its early games at home)
South Korea: Sunbelt champs
Ecuador: Oregon
South Africa: Big South rep
Belgium: Stanford (boring, mediocre and defensive)
Turkey: Wisconsin
China: America East champs
Tunisia: SWAC tournament champions

Obviously, some of the teams listed above weren't in the last tournament; I am more interested in the history of the event, and the teams, as a whole. And, of course, if you prefer to see Team U.S.A. as the UC Santa Barbara of world football, let me know….
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For those of you who absolutely need to know anything and everything about "the Lions of Teranga" before their opener with France, check here. You should have a working knowledge of French, however....
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As an attorney, by nature I have an appreciation for those who can tell untruths and attain great wealth, power, and/or fame doing so. I knew the country was in good hands when Bubba excaped the posse by declaring that the correct answer "depended on what the meaning of the word 'is', is". Unfortunately, my own weak talent in that area ensures that I drive an Eclipse, and not a Beemer. For the rest of you, check out an excellent article on the fine art of mendacity, and the current Minister of Propaganda. I get p.o.'d a lot more when the lies elected officials tell are about substantive policies, not about with whom they're sleeping.
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On a similar note, perhaps W. could have used the reminder that Pele was Brazilian....
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In less than 24 hours, perhaps my favorite sporting event, the World Cup, starts (click here for an excellent blog on the subject). Because of the time difference, the games are going to start in the early (that is, pre-dawn) hours of the morning here on the West Coast, so the only way to view the majority of the games is by tape-delay or VCR. Even if you're not what you Yanks call a "soccer" fan, the World Cup is still a kick (sorry) for the simple reason that it is the only authentic world championship in sports. Besides the Olympics, other sports have international titles; hockey has a World Championship (just won by Slovakia, by the way), and even basketball is going to have an event this summer that will be called the World Championship. But those events lack credibility because the sport involved is regional, and involves only a handful of countries with a chance to win (ie. hockey, rugby, baseball), or only one country (basketball). Because the competition is deeper in soccer (of all countries, Cameroon is considered a dark horse to make the semi-finals), and the talent more evenly distributed, the event itself is less predictable, and thus more exciting to watch. Or as exciting as any event that produces occasional scoreless draws, and allows penalty kicks to resolve playoff games.

In any event, Friday is setting up to be an epic day of frivolity once I can find an excuse to get out of the office. I'm hoping to leave the office by 5, watch the last two periods of Detroit-Colorado (Game 7), cheer on the Lakers in Game 6, then watch Ireland-Cameroon at 11:30 p.m. All of which shall be done behind the security of my home pub, Joxer Dalys, where the owner claims the World Cup games will be shown live (even the 4:30 a.m. games between Slovenia and Paraguay, etc.).

Barring any more unexpected developments (like having two different teams come from 20 points down to win on consecutive days), it appears likely that we will see the Kings and Nets square off next week for the NBA championship. This is probably the most one-sided match-up of the four possibilities; I could easily see the Celtics battling the Lakers and Kings deep into the Finals, and Jason Kidd is precisely the type of player who gives the Lakers fits. The Kings and the Nets, on the other hand, looks like a Sacramento sweep. Kidd and Bibby will fight to a draw, and the greater depth the Kings have (particularly with the return of Stojakovich) should set up a massacre.

Friday (or Sunday) maybe the last hurrah for this Laker team. Winning back to back titles has made the front office complacent, and other than the two stars (and occasionally Horry at the offensive end), there isn't much to say about this team. Fox, Shaw, George, Madsen, Richmond, and sadly, Fisher, are pretty much dead weight at this stage, and the one silver lining on the Lakers' ignomonious departure from the playoffs is that Mitch Kupcak will be more motivated to dump some of these carcasses before the start of next season.
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Lets see, Shaq fouled out on what appeared to be anticipated contact, Kobe was terrible at both ends of the court, the Kings went to the line ten more times than the Lakers, and the Lakers still only lost by one. As I said before, winning Game 5 makes the Kings a prohibitive favorite, but the Lakers still have a pulse; which is more than should be said about the crooks who reffed the game last night.

Craig D. writes:

Everyone knows that Americans are a patriotic bunch and at this summer's World Cup soccer tournament you'll want the USA to prove to the world that they're no rookies when it comes to soccer.
Well here's your chance to do your bit for the USA by joining me in the Soccernet World Cup Fantasy League. This is the fantasy soccer game where you have to demonstrate your coaching skills to select a 15-man squad of World Cup soccer stars then battle it out for fantasy points and amazing prizes worth over $20,000!
However, it won't just be your player selection skills that are put to the test. Your allegiance to the stars and stripes will also be severely tested as you'll be looking extend your patriotism beyond Claudio Reyna and the first stage of the tournament. Can you select a team that's sure to impress The Boss (that's Bruce 'Arena' not 'Springsteen') and take you all the way to World Cup glory?
Your country needs you so come on, register your team today at: http://soccernetwc.fantasyleague.com

Thank you for the information. As many of you already know, ESPN also has a World Cup fantasy football league, but it costs 15 pounds to enter. Nevertheless, if I take part in a fantasy draft, I can assure you that I will not be looking to pick any Americans.

About ten years ago, I became a fan of a movie that was trashed by the critics, in large part because of its budgetary indulgence and the big names of its stars. I remember going with my family to see Ishtar at a theatre in Studio City, near the corner of Laurel Canyon and Ventura, and laughing my ass off. We weren't alone; I think the other two people in the theatre also got the jokes. My sister Cat, who has a much higher degree of sophistication regarding movies than I do, is even more of a fanatic about the film than I am. Every now and then, I will run into somebody who has also seen it, also believes it to be a great film; that person can be trusted, because he will never run with the pack. Quite simply, Ishtar was panned because of issues having nothing to do with the quality of what is actually on the screen.

In any event, although not nearly as good a film as Ishtar, I have to say, having seen the early (10:00 a.m.) matinee showing yesterday of Attack of the Clones, that a similar phenomena is taking place. The critics aren't wrong necessarily; Hayden Christensen is a stiff, the only actors who do anything more grade school line readings are Ewan McGregor (Obi-wan) and Ian McDiarmid (Palpitine), and the dialogue is often cringe-inducing. I may have also been more impressed by the film by having seen a digital print, which was the way the film was actually shot. But still, its a Star Wars movie, for crying out loud. Its a comic book version of mythology. It's fun, and its a hell of a lot better than The Phantom Menace (or Return of the Jedi, for that matter).

Besides which, who cares about the romantic dialogue, anyway. The film's core audience is single men (at yesterday's show, there were single men from ages 7 to 50, and I think I was the only one not still living with my parents). I'm not sure any of the ads or previews have done enough justice to Natalie Portman. I can't say for sure if she can act, but she's definitely a Judean princess capable of turning any Jedi to the dark side of the force. So who cares if this wasn't a chickflik.

Also, a more technical point. The character of "Darth Sidious" doesn't make an appearance until the very end of the movie, for a short but pivotal scene. Nevertheless, the actor who portrays this character was not given a credit. If anyone knows the name of this actor, please feel free to contact me with the information....

Good cartoon about the terrorist "warnings" we got last week from the Administration. By the way, for anyone who doesn't know about the reference to Dick Armey's support of ethnic cleansing, it has to do with his call recently for Israel to drive all Palestinians out of the West Bank and into neighboring countries.

In spite of looking like the proverbial "deer in the headlights" for much of the second half, the Nets finally pulled out a win at Boston Garden. Since Jason Kidd is getting almost no help from his teammates in the 4th Quarter, I don't see the Celtics ultimately losing.
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Spent the morning watching the digital version of Attack of the Clones. To my surprise, I enjoyed the movie, although much of what the critics said about the film is accurate. More later....

There is nothing like the adrenaline charge after a dramatic, unthinkable win by the team you're pulling for. It had been awhile, but I remembered how it felt after the Gibson home run, or after Cal beat Duke in the '93 tournament, or after the Kings OT win in Game 4 last year against the Red Wings. And, of course, watching the game with the incomparably gorgeous, no longer dyspeptic, Ms. Deborah S., is also a treat; there ain't no losin' when you're boozin' with Susan. In any event, Game 5 probably decides the series. If the Kings lose, you better have Rico prepare the embalming fluid for the viewing next Friday. If the Lakers lose, although they won't be in the same difficult position, the odds of their winning a third championship become close to prohibitive.

At about 6:45 a.m. yesterday morning, I had prepared the following post for publication herein:

In spite of the ease of their victory Friday, Sactown appears to be vulnerable. With Stojakovic still hurt, they basically use a seven-man roster, which means late in the game, their starters are going to be more tired than the Lakers. I predict that the Lakers will start poorly, perhaps falling behind by as many as twenty points in the first quarter, than slowly creep back into the game. Kobe will become more of a factor as the game progresses, just as in Game 3. Don't be surprised if, in the final seconds, with the game on the line, Shaq hits his free throws, while Bibby and Divac brick. Fox and George will start to nab their rebounds, while Divac will ineffectually punch the ball out. Ultimately, I see the game coming down to an open trey by Horry at the buzzer. Then, in Game 5,

And then my computer froze, and I was unable to transmit the message. Damn.

I think a good way to tell if a gay baseball player would be accepted, by his teammates, fans, and/or media, would be to look at how players who have been rumored to be gay have been treated. Lets face it: not only are there gay baseball players, I would bet that many of their teammates know who they are. When Glen Burke was with the Dodgers, it was hardly a state secret on the team that he was gay; ultimately, his career fizzled not so much due to homophobia but to the fact that he couldn't hit a curveball. There are players for whom such rumors are a constant; Brady Anderson and Roberto Alomar come to mind.

Mike Piazza certainly fits that description; his sexual preferences were a topic of Internet gossip back when he was with the Dodgers; Brett Butler may have alluded to them when he made his now curious attack back in 1997 that Piazza was a "narcissist" who didn't care for the team. Those rumors surfaced at the time he was traded, at the time he failed to shove his bat down Roger Clemons' throat in the World Series, and again last season, when he made the unfortunate decision to dye his hair blond. Putting aside the truth or validity of the gossip, the fact is, Piazza has been talked about. Nevertheless, I haven't heard anything about his teammates refusing to play with him, shower with him, or do anything with him but play baseball.

Obviously, coming out of the closet would be different than simply confronting rumors about being gay. In the "macho world" (pardon the cliche) of team sports, many would resist dealing with the truth. Opposing fans would be merciless; religious zanies in and out of the dugout would protest. I believe it is self-evident that it would be far easier if a star comes out rather than a scrub; one scribe noted this week that if Sammy Sosa were to proclaim his homosexuality, the Cubs would have the most gay-friendly locker room in sports. But lets not pretend that it isn't already happening, or that baseball players (or other athletes) are complete neanderthals on the subject.

Please take note that yesterday's post about the Celtics was written at 8:24 a.m. Game 3 of the Eastern Conference Finals didn't begin until 2:35 p.m. And this site remains free.
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The most depressing aspect of the Administration's efforts to scare the public away from the stories emerging about its own pre-9/11 negligence is the tacit admission of failure in the "war against terrorism". As is noted here and elsewhere, during the whole time that Dickhead was claiming that another bombing of American soil would soon happen, the Ridge color-coded warning system never changed from "yellow". The mendacity of W. and crew matches his predecessor, except rather than lying about sex, they lie about policy.

Lord, what an awful performance. If you are a Laker fan, the most depressing aspect of Game 3 had to be their decision to fire up panic threes once Sactown opened up a lead, rather than trying to pound the ball into Shaq...oops...wait a minute, they did pound the ball into Shaq; I forgot about all those fifteen footers he attempted last night. Memo to Aristotle: your not Vlade Divac; don't bother trying to establish a perimeter game. Just get to the basket and power dunk !!

The Lakers best chance to win this series was to blow the Kings out early (in the series, that is; I suppose it would be asking a lot for them to show up and play like they cared in the first half of any game). If that happened, the injury to Peja Stojakovic and the fact that the Kings were beaten the last two years by the Lakers would combine to put them into a defeatist mindset, much the same as what happened to San Antonio this year. Stojakovic is still out, but now the Kings have the home court edge back.

By the way, how exactly did it become such an established fact that the Western Conference championship was the de facto title series. Has anyone actually watched the Celtics play in this year playoffs? Their next bad game will be their first; more than can be said about the two-time defending champions (who, by the way, lost both times to Boston in the regular season).

Any comments? Then by all means, contact me at esstheman2@netscape.net. Or just hit the link above that says "contact".
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Hopefully, this little item of news will be what's finally needed to bring closure to this story.

Game 2 this past Monday featured a dying Kobe, an absent Shaq, and a game plan that seemed designed to allow Fox and Samaki plenty of "looks" at the basket, at the expense of getting the ball to anyone with a prayer of scoring. And the Lakers still only lost by six...I don't buy into too many conspiracies, but one would be stupid to ignore this one.
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One final word on the Flyers, for the one of you that cares:

I think it's a safe assumption on my part that the Flyers will be back in the playoffs next season. I have faith that coach Cock can get us there and, in keeping with the fine tradition of players not shaving while playing for The Cup, I will not shave my face until the chase for the elusive Cup ends for the Flyers in 2003. If things work out the way I think they will then the Flyers should be in the playoffs just long enough for me to attain a nice five o'clock shadow. --"Palpatine"

Some fans of real teams, like the Kings or Ducks, would be so filled with embarrasment that they would pray that their team take a playoff hiatus for several years rather than be subjected to further first round humiliation. Matt C., on the other hand, welcomes the degradation.
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About a decade ago, the beloved ex-Commissioner of baseball, Bowie Kuhn, was involved in a law partnership that brought him (and presumably, a lot of his clients) a good deal of grief. So when the heat was on, and creditors, the FBI, the IRS, Hamas, and who knows what else began to show up at his doorstep with summons, he went down to Florida, bought a multi-million dollar home with his remaining assets, and filed bankruptcy. And not only got rid of all of his debts, but got to keep his home. Nice....
Some ivory tower intellectuals see this as wrong, and point out here that the current "reform" bill currently stuck in Congress would actually make it easier to pull a kuhn. Even more amusing to me is the fact that "bankruptcy law" is apparently taught in our nation's law schools. Back in the day, when I was at SC we had one of the more illustrious practitioners in the country, George Triester, teach the subject, and most of us would have rather worn bicycle pants and a training bra to school than attend. Back then, bankruptcy was the sort of legal specialty that you did only if ambulance chasing and workers comp proved too difficult. Thanks to a couple of post-graduation recessions (I luv Bushes), the disappearance of the aerospace industry, the '92 troubles, and the society-wide discovery that credit card companies, unlike loansharks, won't bust your kneecaps if you default, bk's are suddenly hot, prestigious even, and I am more thankful than ever that I blew off law school.

She's glamorous. She's notorious. She's an entertainment lawyer, and she has an evil twin. She's Carolyn H., and she has a pretty good link to this week's "Tom the Dancing Bug".
As always, thanks, and don't bogart any gossip about "Gwynnie".
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Well, I guess I deserved this one. About my invitation for comments on the new Flyers' coach, Matt C. writes,

Yes the hiring of Mr. Hitchcock should be explored and yes I have an opinion. I will, however, keep a lid on that opinion about our beloved new coach (who I prefer to just call "Coach Cock") until this time next year when hopefully I can look back on another record setting first round exit.

Aren't you assuming the Flyers are even going to make the playoffs. As if....

As a bankruptcy lawyer, I naturally have an interest in whether Congress passes what has euphemistically been called the "reform bill" currently in conference. The bill received overwhelming majorities in both houses of Congress, but has become stalled over a dispute as to whether individuals who get fined for blockading abortion clinics can discharge their debts. I have to admire the genius of Senate liberals, who for the most part voted in favor to appease the credit card lobby, using what is a relatively minor issue effecting less than 1% of 1% of all filings to scuttle the bill; I only wish they would display the same ingenuity in opposing the Administration on other issues. Since I oppose the current bill, no matter what it says about abortion, it was good to read this cogent argument as to why this bill should be defeated as a matter of public policy.

I'm still not sold on the idea that anyone, much less W., could have prevented 9/11, so I can't say that I agree with every point in this article. The hijackers weren't stupid (except for the part about them getting kicked out of stripclubs), and even if three of the teams had been stopped at the airport, just one group being able to complete their mission would have been catastrophic. The two points that have inflamed my bile are that for months this administration used its media shills to blame the whole thing on Clinton, and that it kept its prior knowledge, no matter how scant or imprecise it may have been, secret from not only the American people but from Congress as well, even going so far as to deny it had any foreknowledge of what was to happen on 9/11.
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Considering what we now know W. knew in the months leading up to 9/11, and what we know will happen in the near future, I kinda wish he wouldn't resort to spin as his first option.

I like it. Game 1 was over early...Lakers blow out to a quick lead, the game never gets closer than five points the rest of the way...I only hope the next three weeks are this easy.
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Gone for the night. I'm traveling to a birthday party at Mt. Baldy(add your joke here), and I won't be back til tomorrow afternoon, in time (I hope) for Game 1. Send your cards and letters to esstheman2@netscape.net.. Late....
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Empire, si, Republic, no? A new hope....
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So, does anyone have an opinion on this new Flyers' head coach?
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They thought Bin Laden was only planning a "traditional sort of hijacking"? What is that, exactly? Flying the jet to Bahrain in exchange for hostages? Blowing it up over Scotland? Yeah, I guess I understand why the White House would not want to panic the American people over something as trivial as that. Thank god Al Gore wasn't selected by the Supreme Court; he might have tried something irrational last August, like tighten security at our nation's airports....
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It appears that few of you took advantage of the link I offered (below) to download the latest Star Wars film, probably having read a review like this one. However, a minor quibble: at one point, the critic makes reference to a plot twist involving the parentage of Boba Fett, and refers to the character as a "vengeful" bounty hunter from the first three movies. In fact, Mr. Fett does not have a line in Episode Four: A New Hope, and his appearances in the other two movies are ridiculously brief (I think his only line in The Empire Strikes Back was "he's no good to me dead"). His motivation is more that of a dedicated professional than one riven by a spirit of vengeance. But then again, you're free to disagree...
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Coming on the heels of that embarrasing story about the GOP attempting to sell commemorative photos of the Usurper on 9/11(probably on his way to Nebraska or Louisiana, as I recall), the headlines yesterday about his foreknowledge that the Evil One was planning something big with airplanes can't be helping his credibility as a "leader". To me, the scandal isn't that he may have received advance word about hijackings; even today, with the long check-in lines and the patina of extra security at our airports, and the detention of every suspicious-looking Muslim, some nutcase (an airlines pilot, maybe) can still fly a plane into the Statue of Liberty one morning if he forgets to take his Prozac. There is only so much that you can do, and the President is going to get word of many such threats. What bothers me is that this administration kept the news secret for eight months. During that time, his A.G. has led a jihad against our civil liberties, when, as it turns out, there was evidence that he knew something might be happening last summer, but did nothing about it.

By the way, remember how some were saying after 9/11 that those attacks were Clinton's fault....
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Slow Wednesday ahead, so anyone interested in a funny theatrical experience should check out Billingsgate next week; its the final show, and I hear its good.

Another day closer to the grave...and a third straight title for the Lakers.
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Right now, one of the big topics on other "blogs" has to do with the assasination of a Dutch politician, Pim Fortuyn. Since he was a minor politician in a small European country, his death has obviously not resonated with normal Americans, but among the American right, he had become something of a folk hero, because a) he hated Muslim immigrants, and was in the process of building a political career around that issue; and b) he was gay, and had libertarian leanings on most social issues. In most of the civilized world, a) is enough to get you labeled as a racist, (ie., Le Pen, David Duke) since any indiscriminate hatred of the entire membership of a racial or ethnic group usually qualifies. However, the wingnuts in this country have seized on b) as a means of legitimizing a). See, if he's gay, and he smokes a joint now and then, how can he be a fascist, etc. Since September 11, Muslims have become the ethnic group that its ok to hate (replacing the French, I guess), so bigots who are smart to focus their bile on that group get a pass. Which just goes to show, if fascism ever comes to power again, don't be surprised if its led by a non-white, non-Christian, or non-straight politician.

Disturbing story in the LA Times, especially so when you realize that this creature does exist, and is better known to the public as the "San Antonio Spurs"

Once again, anyone who feels the need to contact Smythe's World may do so at esstheman2@netscape.net.

My predictions haven't been too accurate lately, but I will go out on a limb and state that the second half of Game 3 last night was a turning point in the Lakers playoff run. If anything, the Spurs played even better in the first half than they did in Game 2; in particular, Tony Parker was making the Lakers look old trying to guard him, scoring twenty in the first half, and Duncan was dominant, as always. The Lakers still led at halftime by one. Obviously, the Lakers figured out a way to stop Parker in the second half, since he scored only four points thereafter, and only one basket (perhaps that's the key; just have Rick Fox "guard" your star in the first half, allow him to run up and down the court getting easy lay-ups, and wait until he dies of exhaustion in the second half). They stayed close for awhile, and even led with 7 1/2 minutes left. But 15 for 43 shooting will usually kill a team, unless they're playing in the Eastern Conoference, and the Spurs had no game at all in the final five minutes.

Or then there's this trenchant analysis of the Middle East situation, given to us by a guest on Hardball with Chris Matthews last week:

"I would ask you, looking at the Israeli/Palestinian question and say this, how many Palestinians were on those airplanes on September 9th? None."

---Dan Quayle
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It comes out in another week, but for those who are interested in obtaining a bootleg copy of the Star Wars sequel, check this out.

In the meantime, I'm getting e-mail (one, that is) concerning my position on Middle East politics. Considering the US of A is in the middle of fighting a war there, against a threat that has already proven it can strike directly at the mainland, and seems to be spoiling now for a fight with Iraq, one would hope that this would be a much more fiercely debated subject. My view on the current Israeli-Palestinian struggle is simple: Israeli occupation and settlements are indefensible, both politically and morally; Gen. Sharon is a fascist war criminal; Arafat is a terrorist; and Palestinian suicide bombings are an abomination, reflecting more a generalized hatred of Jews than a political protest against apartheid. Any policy that doesn't acknowledge those truths will fail. For an even more cogent analysis of the above, check out this broadside.

Looks like Gen. Sharon really took care of that terrorist problem...it doesn't take a PhD to realize that the assorted West Bank raids of the past few weeks had less to do with "defending Isreal" than they did with crushing any semblance of civic life among Palestinians. One way to keep perspective as to what's going on there is that more Palestinians under the age of eighteen have been killed by Sharon's army as Israeli civilians have been murdered by Palestinian wack-jobs in the past twelve months.

Sad to say, as I watch the lads finally sink back into a double-digit deficit against San Antone, that my prediction about the Lakers not repeating is coming true. It looks like Shaq is gone back to his bad habits at the line. Obviously, they are going to have to split in Texas to have a realistic chance.

By the way, check this story out, and remember whose friend is now in the White House the next time you pay an electrical bill.

On another date-related subject, after a day spent working at my old office and watching hockey, I decided to check out a movie at 3rd Street Promenade. On impulse, I decided to spend $8.50 to see The Scorpion King, a worthless piece of drivel that served the positive purpose of keeping me from getting behind the wheel of a car for two hours. I mean, I wasn't expecting an EM Forster-based character study about life in ancient Egypt ("this isn't Forster", to quote the John Hurt character in Love and Death on Long Island), but still, I was hoping to see a movie in which I could have remembered the ending twelve hours after the fact. By the way, M.C., "Memnon" will not be cracking the fifty greatest screen villain list....

As many of you are perhaps too painfully aware, I am single. That means I am obliged, on occasion, to buy dinner, drinks, movie, etc. for members of the fair sex, in the usually forlorn hope that it might lead to free sex (and let's face it, that's all a date is, although I assume others usually have more luck with the getting free sex aspect of it). Well, here is an article that shows how plain wrong that whole convention of guys buying dinner for gals is. The question does come up, though, of how does one know after the check is split that the gal is a feminist, or just doesn't respect you enough to expect you to pay.

For those of you who care, the TV schedule for football is presented. Get your VCR's ready.

Congrats to Bolkcom on winning the first month of the Home Run Pool. So now, if form holds, you should begin your collapse in the next three weeks.

As a follow-up to last weeks post about Thomas Ian Griffith, I thought it appropriate to share this posting:

I was talking with a bar buddy of mine at Joxer Daly's a few weeks ago...discussing movie villains. We were both rattling off several of them and seemed to agree on who were the great ones. Now, because I have utterly no life outside of work, Joxer's and home, I am going to share with you (M.C.)'s Top 40 Movie Villains Of All Time. Bear in mind these are my favorites and you may find yourself disagreeing or feeling that I missed a few. If that is the case then I encourage you to mail back your thoughts. Also, Ron Johnson (the stereo salesman who deflowered Stacy and never called again) and Mr. Hand, both from "Fast times At Ridgemont High", do not constitute villains. They were asses, to be sure, but fall short of downright evil.
1.Hans-"Die Hard"
2.John Silver-"The Karate Kid Part III"
3.John Creese-"The Karate Kid" "The Karate Kid part III"
4.The Inbreeds-"Deliverance"
5.Biff-"Back To The Future" (all three)
6.Neidermeyer-"Animal House"
7.Dean Wormer-"Animal House"
8.Tony Abbott (Farnsworth's confidential secretary)-"Heaven Can Wait"
9.Coach Moorland Smith-"One On One"
10.Warden Hazen-"The Longest Yard"
11.The Scorpio Killer-"Dirty Harry"
12.Victor Maitland-"Beverly Hills Cop"
13.Ganz-"48 Hrs"
14.Calvera-"The Magnificent Seven"
15.Hitler-"The Great Escape" (unseen in movie but influence implied)
16.Porky-"Porky's"
17.Johnny Lawrence-"The Karate Kid"
18.Mr. Joshua-"Lethal Weapon"
19.Rackie-"Youngblood"
20.Dr. Evil-"Austin Powers; International Man Of Mystery"
21.The Killer Tomatoes-"Attack Of the Killer Tomatoes"
22.Satan-"The Exorcist" (unseen in movie but presence implied strongly)
23.Ogie Oglethorpe-"Slap Shot"
24.The Blair Witch-"The Blair Witch Project"
25.Lo Pan-"Big Trouble In Little China"
26.The Car-"The Car"
27.Nurse Ratchet-"One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest"
28.Sgt. Barnes-"Platoon"
29.The Iceberg-"Titanic"
30."Those Guys"-"Butch Cassidy And the Sundance Kid"
31.Michael Schwerner, James Chaney and Andy Goodman-"Mississippi Burning"
32.Ace-"Stand By Me"
33."Bruce" (the shark)-Jaws
34.Brad Wesley-"Roadhouse"
35.Keyser Soze-"The Usual Suspects"
36.The Jap(anese)-"Tora, Tora, Tora!" and "Midway"
37.Gordon Gecko-"Wall Street"
38.Rocket-"Colors"
39.Clubber Lang-"Rocky III"
40.Little Bill-"Unforgiven"
Honorable Mention:
The Fog-"The Fog"
White Squall-"White Squall"
Backdraft-"Backdraft"
Ike Clanton-"Tombstone"
The Pittsburgh Steelers-"Black Sunday"
Have a nice day and don't get any on 'ya.

Are you serious? C'mon, "Niedermeyer" over the Scorpio Killer? "Johnnie Lawrence" (who isn't really a villain) over "Brad Wesley"? And G, C, and S from Mississippi Burning? Was Atticus Finch not available in your memory bank? How about the character played by Morgan Freeman in Glory? Were you unable to remember the names of the freed slaves in Birth of a Nation?

By the way, I don't believe the character Billy Zane played in Titanic was named "Iceburg". And where on your list is "Frank" from Once Upon a Time in the West? "Buffalo Bill" from Silence of the Lambs? "Meg Ryan" from any Nora Ephron movie?

However, "Coach Smith" from One on One is an inspired selection. Glad to know that someone remembers the broad acting range of G.D. Spradlin. At least you can think of 50 movie villains.