May 04, 2002

As many of you are perhaps too painfully aware, I am single. That means I am obliged, on occasion, to buy dinner, drinks, movie, etc. for members of the fair sex, in the usually forlorn hope that it might lead to free sex (and let's face it, that's all a date is, although I assume others usually have more luck with the getting free sex aspect of it). Well, here is an article that shows how plain wrong that whole convention of guys buying dinner for gals is. The question does come up, though, of how does one know after the check is split that the gal is a feminist, or just doesn't respect you enough to expect you to pay.

May 02, 2002

For those of you who care, the TV schedule for football is presented. Get your VCR's ready.

May 01, 2002

Congrats to Bolkcom on winning the first month of the Home Run Pool. So now, if form holds, you should begin your collapse in the next three weeks.
As a follow-up to last weeks post about Thomas Ian Griffith, I thought it appropriate to share this posting:

I was talking with a bar buddy of mine at Joxer Daly's a few weeks ago...discussing movie villains. We were both rattling off several of them and seemed to agree on who were the great ones. Now, because I have utterly no life outside of work, Joxer's and home, I am going to share with you (M.C.)'s Top 40 Movie Villains Of All Time. Bear in mind these are my favorites and you may find yourself disagreeing or feeling that I missed a few. If that is the case then I encourage you to mail back your thoughts. Also, Ron Johnson (the stereo salesman who deflowered Stacy and never called again) and Mr. Hand, both from "Fast times At Ridgemont High", do not constitute villains. They were asses, to be sure, but fall short of downright evil.
1.Hans-"Die Hard"
2.John Silver-"The Karate Kid Part III"
3.John Creese-"The Karate Kid" "The Karate Kid part III"
4.The Inbreeds-"Deliverance"
5.Biff-"Back To The Future" (all three)
6.Neidermeyer-"Animal House"
7.Dean Wormer-"Animal House"
8.Tony Abbott (Farnsworth's confidential secretary)-"Heaven Can Wait"
9.Coach Moorland Smith-"One On One"
10.Warden Hazen-"The Longest Yard"
11.The Scorpio Killer-"Dirty Harry"
12.Victor Maitland-"Beverly Hills Cop"
13.Ganz-"48 Hrs"
14.Calvera-"The Magnificent Seven"
15.Hitler-"The Great Escape" (unseen in movie but influence implied)
17.Johnny Lawrence-"The Karate Kid"
18.Mr. Joshua-"Lethal Weapon"
20.Dr. Evil-"Austin Powers; International Man Of Mystery"
21.The Killer Tomatoes-"Attack Of the Killer Tomatoes"
22.Satan-"The Exorcist" (unseen in movie but presence implied strongly)
23.Ogie Oglethorpe-"Slap Shot"
24.The Blair Witch-"The Blair Witch Project"
25.Lo Pan-"Big Trouble In Little China"
26.The Car-"The Car"
27.Nurse Ratchet-"One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest"
28.Sgt. Barnes-"Platoon"
29.The Iceberg-"Titanic"
30."Those Guys"-"Butch Cassidy And the Sundance Kid"
31.Michael Schwerner, James Chaney and Andy Goodman-"Mississippi Burning"
32.Ace-"Stand By Me"
33."Bruce" (the shark)-Jaws
34.Brad Wesley-"Roadhouse"
35.Keyser Soze-"The Usual Suspects"
36.The Jap(anese)-"Tora, Tora, Tora!" and "Midway"
37.Gordon Gecko-"Wall Street"
39.Clubber Lang-"Rocky III"
40.Little Bill-"Unforgiven"
Honorable Mention:
The Fog-"The Fog"
White Squall-"White Squall"
Ike Clanton-"Tombstone"
The Pittsburgh Steelers-"Black Sunday"
Have a nice day and don't get any on 'ya.

Are you serious? C'mon, "Niedermeyer" over the Scorpio Killer? "Johnnie Lawrence" (who isn't really a villain) over "Brad Wesley"? And G, C, and S from Mississippi Burning? Was Atticus Finch not available in your memory bank? How about the character played by Morgan Freeman in Glory? Were you unable to remember the names of the freed slaves in Birth of a Nation?

By the way, I don't believe the character Billy Zane played in Titanic was named "Iceburg". And where on your list is "Frank" from Once Upon a Time in the West? "Buffalo Bill" from Silence of the Lambs? "Meg Ryan" from any Nora Ephron movie?

However, "Coach Smith" from One on One is an inspired selection. Glad to know that someone remembers the broad acting range of G.D. Spradlin. At least you can think of 50 movie villains.

April 30, 2002

There will never be peace as long as Sharon and Arafat have any say. One is an habitual war criminal, who is now trying to cover up an investigation of his army's atrocities in Jenin, and the other is a career terrorist. The President has no idea what to do, and seems to believe that the entire battle is just an inconvenience, halting him from what he believes is more important, which is to come up with some pretext for picking a fight with Iraq.

So without further adieu, here's an idea that makes sense....

April 29, 2002

Its time to check the mailbag...

Concerning my post last week on a potential future coach of the Philadelphia Flyers, M.C. of West Hollywood writes:

-- Thomas Ian Griffith would be a fine choice if he can teach the Flyers to score. Unfortunately, I suspect the only "scoring" the gentleman has knowledge of would be "scoring" on men. --

When I posted my suggestion, I was focusing only on Mr. Griffith's memorable role in the movie classic, Karate Kid III, where I thought his knowledge of "sweeps", his strategy for dealing with toxic waste, and his ability to respond positively to having a can of paint drop on his head might help that struggling franchise turn things around. But one of the great things about Smythe's World is the community that the blog has created, a place where people of all races, creeds, sexes, occupations, and sexual orientations can gather and share their expertise. As always, thanks for your input.

"Susan" writes:

--So the guy that thought an interactive site to yours brainliness was dumb, was the same, lets say man, that was also the first to respond. Ever wonder who exactly views your web site smithe? it would be much better to view message responses first hand, i'm not sure if your translation is accurate. after all you were the one who was saying 'looser' prior to the laker sweep! clearly accuracy is not your forte.--

Were you drinking when you wrote this? Does your computer not have a spell check? When have I ever said that the Lakers were loose? Thank goodness you play no role whatsoever in the education of our children; what a waste of taxpayer money that would be. Having said that, you are 110% correct on your demand for a responsive website for Smythe's World to gather and comment on my posts. I can promise you that your dream will soon come true !!! And, as always, thanks for your commentary.

April 28, 2002

If you are like me, you've been trying to find a way to motivate yourself to go to Korea next month for the World Cup. After all, travel and lodging are expensive, this is the world's biggest and most important sporting event, and football fans can be, well, passionate in their adherence to their team.

Well, this story pretty much convinced me that I'm going, screw the cost.
One of the things I promised I would do when I started blogging was to write some content about the Home Run Pool at Joxer Dalys, the sports bar/Irish pub I frequent. The concept is simple: each player drafts, in a pre-set order, the players he thinks will hit the most home runs; the fact that Omar Vizquel was twice the player Dave Kingman was is irrelevant; if he's available, Kong gets picked.

And so finally, without further adieu, some news about the Home Run Pool. As always, Mr. Bolkcom is off to a torrid start, and yours truly is battling for second, but if history is any guide, the participant currently in fifth will take charge about June 1 and leave the rest of us in his dust.