From the mailbag:

A long-winded Ohiander sends the following missive:

Smythe you are such a wimp! Are you rooting for the Lakers or not? I mean a true Lakers fan wouldn't sound the death knell so quickly would they? Or maybe you're impersonating Phil '"I have to actually coach in this series" Jackson and trying to play some psychological game to get the Lakers motivated. C'mon stop chasing after (name deleted) and come watch the game at Joxers. I swear you must be the only guy I know who is p****-whipped but hasn't had any p****!! Tell her to give it up or get out bed bud!

I hope you know I am just ranting and raving and giving you s*** just for the fun off it!

Seriously, tell (name omitted) I said hello. Hope to see you after the game at Joxers

GO KINGS!!!!!!!!!

S---m

Thank you, but I will be watching the game at Joxers tonight. I have indeed found out that the female individual above, who stars on a certain ABC spy show airing Sunday nights, is in fact married. We decided that it would be best if we simply let our feelings wither, no matter how painful it may feel.