For years, there was this flaky billionaire named Marvin Davis, who was always threatening to purchase either a football franchise or a film studio. Whether it was the Tampa Bay Bucs or United Artists that were up for sale, Davis' name would always be in the news, before, surprise, surprise, he would back down, and the prize would go to someone else. For a short time, he actually did own a studio. After a while, though, it became clear that he wasn't serious, so he began to be politely referred to as a "tire kicker", someone who interested in looking but wasn't really a player. Perhaps the nadir was when he let his name be linked to a move to build a football stadium next to the Inglewood Forum several years ago, when the NFL was looking to put an expansion team in LA. Just having his name tied to the project was enough to discredit what had been a serious proposal, one that was almost a done deal when Al Davis was still in town, and the league actually went back to negotiating with the Coliseum; better that, they reasoned, then to be dicked around by someone they knew was going to back down in the end.

The last ten years, Marvin Lewis has been the Marvin Davis of the NFL. Unquestionably a terrific defensive coach, his name has been on the short list of almost every vacancy in the head coaching ranks, pro or college, since 1996. After his defense in Baltimore won the Super Bowl two years ago, he was all but offered the head position in Buffalo, but had cold feet at the last second, and stayed with the Ravens. Last season, California was set to announce his hiring when he backed down, and decided instead to become an assistant coach under Steve Spurrier with Washington. He was considered for jobs at Carolina and Tampa Bay, but by then, his reputation was as someone who wanted the attention, not the job, and he got passed over both times. Only a month ago, he was offered the head position at Michigan State, but turned it down. Just when it seemed like he was about to get a reputation for being someone too gutless to be a head coach, he agreed tonight to accept the job with the worst franchise in football, the Cincinnati Bengals. It is hard to imagine a worse situation for him; he will now be a coach for a team that won't spend the money, that is notorious for incompetent drafting, and has little talent to speak of. And they went 2-14 last season. Good luck.