IT’S TIME TO READ MY MAIL !!!!

As you might have imagined, I got lots of reaction to Miss Overated 2002.

Some random chick from the "Industry", who works in the legal department for a giant French Multi-National, opines:

My vote goes to Mrs. Chin, er, Mrs. Pitt-- Jennifer Aniston. You are crazy about Linda Evangelista. She is gorgeous. And Paris Hilton is pretty in a Tara Reid sort of way…BTW, in your blog were you referring to Marie Chantal, Alexandra and Pia Miller? You think they are attractive? Have you gone mad? They are HIDEOUS! And all of their marriages were business arrangements whereby their husbands got $$, and they got a nice last name in return.

Evangelista is exactly the sort of model that women are going to think is attractive, which is probably the whole point; after all, she made her rep posing in Cosmo and Elle, not the S.I. swimsuit edition. Paris Hilton is going to have spend some serious trust fund cash on liposuction if she is ever going to look half as good as Tara Reid; her kid sister, on the other hand….The whole point about the Miller Sisters wasn’t that they were gorgeous (although Alexandra isn’t half bad), but that they get hyped for being nothing in particular. As I said, beauty is mostly subjective: there are some women, like Catherine Zeta-Jones, Jennifer Connelly, Colleen Lye, Vicki Zale, Gwynnie, Halle B., Phoebe N., the young Kim Novak, Senator Kaye Hutchison, etc., who are simply gorgeous; the rest we argue about. The distinction I was trying to draw was that at least you know why the Miller Sisters were being hyped (ie. marriages to EuroTrash), as opposed to why VF had Gretchen Mol(?) on its cover several years ago. As always, thank you for your input; I love it when you approach a subject with claws bared.

Sir Mix-a-Lot comments:

(Y)ou are gay ... I wouldn't kick Anna out of bed. Anna is a hottie or maybe its just that she is the most beautiful tennis player to come along since Chris Evert. She has everyone else in women's tennis beat by a country mile. You are right about Julia, though; she is overrated.

My over-rated beautiful woman is: Matthew Broderick's Wife, Sarah Jessica Parker? (I would have sex in the city with anyone else but her!)

Also, I actually think most toothpick-sized models are overrated. You know, Sir-mix-a-lot loves those babies wit' back…Sarah Michelle Geller is ugly now that she has lost weight. I liked her better when she was chubby…(W)hile taking a break from writing, I ran across the telecast for the ESPYs. It just so happened that Serena Williams was on the screen accepting the ESPY award for her sister Venus ... I double dog dare you to tell Serena to her face that her blond hair is not flattering. If you had the balls to do that (and didn't mind losing them) I'll bet you that she'd kick your ass!!!!!!! Man is she ripped.

It appears I’m pretty much alone on Kournikova. When I discussed this contest with my therapist, he informed me that, for the first time after a decade of treating me, he could now safely conclude that I had a serious mental illness. Almost everyone else has told me that I am not only wrong about Kournikova, but that I have no taste, that I am a poor judge of women, etc. Nevertheless, I shall stand by my opinion. Her claims to being a sex symbol are due solely to her tangential connection to the world of sports, and even there she compares unfavorably to Ms. Evert or her vastly underrated contemporary, Evonne Goolagong; in fact, depending on the lighting, I would place Martina Hingis, Serena (when she’s not dyeing her hair), and, after enough cocktails, even Mrs. Agassi above her (obviously, the nose would be a problem). To put it another way, if you had the choice between Bridget Wilson and Anna K., whom would you take? And that’s just tennis; we haven’t even gotten around to mentioning Katerina Witt or half the starting line-up of the U.S. women’s soccer team yet. By the way, each of the women mentioned above (except for Ms. Wilson, who has also failed to win a tournament on the woman’s tour) are great athletes too, with all the dedication and hard work that entails. Also, Serena does scare me; I hope she realizes that I'm just kidding.

Finally, this from M.C. Hammered:

I believe Teri Hatcher has to be included as one of the most overrated "beautiful" women. She has eyes that make her look like she has (a disease) and her (breasts) may be real but they are far from spectacular…I believe that the big, fat, ugly, buffalo chicks who were the cheerleaders in Tony Basil's "Mickey" video were hand picked by Basil herself so she would look better.

Your remarks about ESPN Classic are right on the mark! ESPN is owned by the same shmucks that own ABC and they can't get the rights to show even some classic Monday Night games?! I was excited a few years ago when this s*** channel became available but have since become extremely disappointed. The channel SUCKS, SUCKS, SUCKS!!!! Doesn't it feel good to finally right about something, Smythe?

Hold on, M.C., you're not suggesting that Toni Basil is overrated? In any event, why dwell on ESPN Classic, when there are so many other important things in the world we can disagree about? (more)